Listening--The Other Side of Praying

Copyright 2009 Gloria Fisher. All rights reserved.

It was Thursday at noon, and I was meeting Anna at the local coffee shop. I grabbed a latte and the back booth where it was quiet even during lunchtime. The shop is a local hangout for college kids with laptops and iPods. As I waited quietly for Anna and watched people go by I couldn't help but wonder if any of those kids really know how to listen to God. In fact do any of us?

This first meeting with Anna was a typical one for me. So many times I sit across the table from a teary-eyed prospect who has summoned all the courage they have to pick up the phone and call me. Some of them have never heard of a spiritual director. But they feel a pull or a push from God to make that call.

"You said on the phone you felt an urge to call me, and you're not sure why." Anna nodded. I continued, "I am what is called a Christian spiritual director, and I get calls like yours all the time. My job is to help people hear from God. Most of the time, Anna, God is speaking. We're just not listening. I'm here to help you listen."

You might wonder, "Why is listening so important to my prayer life?" Let's suppose for a moment that praying is like making a phone call to your friend. If you make the call, do all the talking, and hang up, what have you learned from your friend? If we do all the talking and very little listening, how do we know what God wants us to do? We don't. And if we don't know what God wants us to do, very often we end up being frustrated when our own plans don't work out.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are addicted to noise. In fact if a moment of silence is asked for in church or in another assembly of people, we can hardly wait until it's over. Being quiet that long is not an easy task. Two minutes can seem like an eternity.

Like you I wonder, "How can I hear God's voice through all the noise that assaults my ears all day long? And how can I quiet the noise inside my head?" I can't help but think of the prophet, Elijah. In 1 Kings 19:11 he was standing on the mountain when God was going to pass by. But God was not in what was loud, not the powerful wind nor the earthquake. Only when Elijah stood at the mouth of the cave and listened did he hear God in the gentle whisper.

Like any other habit we want to change: we must do it one choice at a time. Perhaps one day we choose to eat breakfast in silence instead of listening to the blaring morning news shows. Maybe for a couple of days a week we eat lunch alone in a local park or some other solitary place positioning ourselves like Elijah where God may pass by.

The first time I attended a spiritual retreat at a convent for the weekend I found the imposed silence for part of four days a little hard to get used to. Unaccustomed to being silent from dinner on Thursday night until after lunch on Sunday took quite a bit of self-discipline all at once. But I was determined to hear from God. I had an important decision to make, and I was willing at that point in my life to do whatever it took in order to hear from Him. Too bad that sometimes we have to get desperate enough for God that we are actually willing to suffer a little discomfort in order to seek His face.

At the retreat all meals were eaten in silence. The only time talking occurred was during the church service, corporate prayer, and the talks that were given by the speakers. At all other times the retreatants were silent. Reading was allowed, praying was encouraged, rest was recommended. All of a sudden all I could hear was my brain charging forth like a runaway locomotive. Ridiculous thoughts played out like a movie. Did I turn off the stove before I left home? Was I being selfish for taking time for myself? Just when those thoughts slowed down, all my favorite music began to play involuntarily in my brain. Only after a day and a half did the noise of my mind begin to slow down.

By the second full day of the retreat my whole body began to sink into a restful position. Lines from the 23rd Psalm began to pertain precisely to me, "He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul." That was me! God was restoring my soul. And from that place of restoration and quiet I was at last able to hear Him.

Not everyone has access to a spiritual director or is able to attend a retreat. Yet it is possible to discipline oneself to listen for the voice of God. He speaks to us in many different ways. God loves us so much that He will use whatever means He can to get through to us. Sometimes He speaks through a pastor in a sermon, and we know that word is just for us. Sometimes He speaks through a song in the worship service. Friends have told me stories about how scriptures seem to leap off the pages of their Bibles and go straight to their hearts. They had no doubt that God was speaking directly to them. God will use billboards, bumper stickers, dreams, and blogs in order to get a word to you that you need to hear. But you must be able to hear.

Pray that God will give you ears to hear, and He will. For God is seeking those who would listen and hear His voice. In Psalm 81:11 God complains of just such a problem He was having with Israel. He says, "But my people would not listen to me. Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts, to follow their own devices. If my people would but listen to me, if Israel would follow my ways...!" How can we follow His ways if we don't first learn to listen?

In my ministry as a spiritual director I talk with many people who pray faithfully. But when I ask them if they listen, they hesitate. God has shown me through the scriptures that He wants a two-way relationship with us, one of praying and also of listening. As a result I slow my own life down at regular intervals just to sit like Mary at the feet of Jesus and listen. I highly recommend this form of meditation. The habit of listening opens our spiritual ears to hear His voice.

Here are some other suggestions for you to try to slow down your life in order to hear from God. 1) Try riding in your car in silence, 2) Give yourself a break from television, 3) Take a long walk alone, 4) Before or after your daily Bible reading close your eyes and stay still, quieting your mind, and 5) After you finish praying, give God a chance to answer you. Don't be quick to jump up and leave. He may have something to say.

Remember: listening is the other side of praying. In this busy world God is looking for someone who cares enough to stop and listen.